ZEN and the art of SMS

An SMS from the bad man who dumped me and made me cry. Many months after the paperwork and separation are finally over and done and I think i've removed all traces of him.

"Do you want to have a drink sometime?"

Oh god.

Stop and think.
Whatever you do, don't write anything stupid, something that he could twist to suit his own version of reality.
And try to remain diginfied.

Possible responses?

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
Too rude. Could also imply that i'm insane.

"Why?"
Then he'll reply and before I know it i'll be stuck in a whole stupid conversation that can't end well.

"No"
Too short. Might look like a typo.

"Fuck Off!"
Too emotional. Like he can stir any kind of feeling in me.

"Fuck Off, Loser!"
Ditto. Also unnecessarily rude. And adolescent.

"Bugger off you bastard, how dare you."
Posh adolescent.

"Not yet"
"I'm not ready for casual socialising."
"Thanks, but i don't think that's a good idea."
Leaves too much to the imagination.
Like: I'm still hurting, therefore I still love you...
The horror.

Ignore it completely.
Too ambiguous.

Try polite but dismissive - the worst response a man can get, i'm told:

"I'm sorry 'x' but I'm just not interested"
Too snooty

"I'm sorry 'x', Maybe next year"
Don't want to keep him dangling.

"Sure, See you tomorrow at the pub at 8"
Then fail to show up, turn my phone off, and leave him waiting forever.
[insert evil chuckle]

What would the Dalai Lama do?
Not intentionally stand someone up, for starters.

"Thank you that sounds lovely, but no thanks"
A lie. Wouldn't be lovely at all.

"Thank you, but no :-)"
Perfect!
It's polite, dismissive with a whiff of zen grace and gratitude.
And there's no reply to a message like that.
I decide it's pretty much as good as it can get and hit send.

8 weeks later:
"Hi...." (I get a HI this time.)
"Hi, I was wondering if you would like to have a drink sometime."
He even signed it with his initial. How sweet.
I read it several times - the way you keep looking at the empty parking space before you can really believe your car's been stolen.

Possible responses.
"WTF. Are you kidding me with this?"
"Did you GET my last reply?"
"You think anything has changed in just 8 weeks?"
"Why oh why?"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha"

But he's asked twice now; maybe there's some important business he needs to discuss - a problem with some paperwork?
Reluctantly I reply.

"A social drink? Or do you have something on your mind?"

"No Agenda. I'd like to see you."

Ri-i-i-ght.
SO many ways to respond...
"You can see me any time. That's why i gave you my photo."
"I rather think you gave up that privilege when you decided to fuck me over for someone else."
"Why? You having second thoughts?"......

As if!

I hit DELETE.

If this is where we get to, for all my agonizing over what to reply last time, then why bother. Silence speaks volumes.

And he figures it out.

"I guess you still don't what to see me. I know I deserve this. If ever you change your mind, just let me know. I'll stop pestering you."

Oh, can you hear the tiny violin?

As if HE'S the victim and i'm the bad guy in all this.
Bugger. If i Ignore this message then I'm the callous one.
But i'm a good person.
I'm a kind person.

What would the Dalai Lama do?
Who knows. He'll never be in this situation.
And i'm pretty sure he doesn't have a mobile phone.
Lucky bastard.