x s ii 22

For various reasons I missed my morning mediation twice last week. Other things getting in the way.
It's only then that you realise how much difference it makes.

On the second morning, as I cycled to work, those nagging voices started up again. The fretting ones that get bogged down in unhappy memories, in a past that cannot be changed, but trying to change it anyway. They go further and further down bad paths. Then they jump into a non existent future, imagining me having unpleasant conversations with the MD. Conversations that i think will be necessary, even tho they make me feel icky, and i know they'll never actually take place.

Lucky for me, i catch my mind doing this - as i'm pedalling and starting to feel more and more gnarly, and remembering how noticeably more irritable i was yesterday in the face of the end of year stress.

The solution is to meditate now. As i commute.
Sound dangerous to you?

Well, I ask. What's more dangerous? To be cycling in morning traffic, with one's mind miles away in the past and the future? Or to be cycling with one's mind focussed only on the very immediate present?
On that old bolt that could hurt my tyres if i don't steer around it.
On that red rav4 that i know is going to cut in front of me to make a left hand turn.
Seeing the shape and colour of the clouds in the sky above that shows very little risk of rain.
Monitoring the rhythm of my breathing, noting it should be going in through the nose, not the mouth. (hack hack)
Noting that police car stopped up ahead at the red light i often sneak through....

It's not the same as a proper 20 minute sit. But it certainly helped.