Letters from a city cyclist

To the driver of the black ute:

Dear Sir,

When you blew your horn as we were merging lanes yesterday, am I to understand that your message was that bike riders should now also be giving way to people BEHIND them? I'm sorry, do you think that you have right of way because you are behind me in the traffic?

I do hope that I misinterpreted your horn blast and that it was indeed meant for someone else and/or for a different reason entirely.

All the best,
etc

- - - - - - -

To the guy who cut across me in the bike lane to grab that parking spot:

Dear Sir,

"What the hell!? Do you understand what a bike lane is? You can't just cut across it willy nilly as if it's just a bit of your own lane. I mean, weren't those lines painted on the road any kind of clue?

And, sir, do you realise your car weighs over 2000 - yes two thousand - kilograms and can you imagine what that does when it comes into contact with a soft body?

No sir, this was not an "Oops that was a bit close" kind of moment, as that little wave you just gave me seemed to imply. That was a "Holy crap, I nearly killed someone," kind of moment.

Please drive properly in future.
Please respect the Bicycle Lane.

Your sincerely, etc

- - - - - - -

To the driver who waited for me to pass before pulling out:

Dear Japanese Station Wagon Driver,

I like your "Watch for cyclists" car sticker and I really like that you were so patient and waited for me to slog up the hill past you, in the bike lane, before you pulled out from your parking spot. I'm almost in shock.

I don't like that you usually park right across the bike lane down at the roundabout, but for your patience today, you're (mostly) forgiven.

Yours with gratitude, etc

- - - - - - -

To the driver who overtook me up at the intersection:

Dear 4WD driver,

Was it really worth it when you overtook me just then? There wasn't much room so you had to go really close to me and that was dangerous, as you are surely aware.

But I guess you thought it was worth the risk, because it meant that you got to that red light that one second sooner. (I am assuming you must have already been aware of the stop light, seeing as I was only 3 car lengths from it at the time and you had to brake as soon as you'd finished overtaking me.)

So, um, I'm just wondering.... what exactly did you achieve?

Yours enquiringly, etc

- - - - - - -

To the driver who drove slowly behind me last night:

Dear driver I never saw but only heard,

It was a bit creepy the way you drove slowly behind me last night instead of overtaking.

I admit I was suspicious and thought you were 'up to something'.

You see, you didn't do the usual thing of speeding up and overtaking me, then turning across and cutting me off to make that left turn.

That's what drivers normally do. But no, you waited instead and drove behind me so that you could turn down that side street safely.

I'm sure you can understand that I'm a little weirded out by this: You did the right thing. You were respectful.


I respectfully thank you.

Yours etc.

Why Bicycle? A Brief History

I got my first bike - a Malvern Star - from Mum and Dad when I was a kid. It was fun riding up, down and around our cul-de-sac with all the neighbour kids, but I suspect my parent's motive was not so much my entertainment, as a way to avoid having to drive their kids around everywhere. I soon found I was obliged to take myself by bike off to ballet class and most other extra curricular activities.


Photo: Photobucket

Even when I was chased and bitten by a local dog, the bike rule stood.

Nevertheless, I am grateful for my parents apathy and cruelty, because I learned the important art of bike riding and developed a healthy fear of dogs.

As a grown-up, when I inherited some family member's hand-me-down racing bike and decided to give it a try, it was - well - pretty much just like riding a bike. Learning to ride for the first time as an adult would be about as much fun as trying to use chopsticks for the first time – with your left hand – at a very important dinner.

I took up cycling again in my 20's mostly for fitness, and novelty. When I lived in the inner city there was the added parking bonus. Brilliant for errands, cycling was a quick door to door method, without any of that driving round and around the block looking for a park.

In the 21st century, with climate change the new black and people adapting their lifestyles to help reduce global warming, cycling is fashionable, chic bike shops are popping up everywhere, and I'm more motivated than ever to leave the car at home.

I recently went for 6 months without buying petrol and - even though my colleagues, when I told them this, looked at me with a speechless kind of disbelief mixed with a fear that I could well be insane - I'm proud of that.

Now, on any day when I'm feeling tired, or it's too cold, too sunny, might rain, I remember the state of the planet and figure it probably won't kill me to cycle up that hill again today.

Too Much Jelly

(to be sung to the tune of the aeroplane jelly song)

No more aeroplane jelly,
It's no substitute for a meal.
I ate it for lunch and I ate it for tea,
But two packs a day is just too much for me.
With food additives that are prefixed with E,
Like E129 which is banned in some countries,
No more aeroplane jelly,
It's just one great big lol-ly!

About Last Year

2010, the year with as many zeros as the nine preceding, is over.

And now as the 21st century fast approaches its teens – and who would disagree that each year is going by faster than the last? – I look back at my life in this century's tenth year.

In my tenth year I went to a new school, out of area, with a group of kids and a teacher who were to become a bit like family for two years; a self-contained class, separate from the rest of the school. It was so far from home I had to take the train to school. I was introduced to commuting.

In this century's tenth year I stopped commuting and started working from home - signifying another move to a more insular daily environment. I miss the office life in some ways, though less and less, and hope never to have to return to it.

My life last year was undramatic, and uneventful. Changes were organic and stress free. Perhaps this is the most notable thing about the year.

• I (finally) took up regular volunteer work
• Took several writing courses. Stopped thinking about "wanting to be a writer" and did something about it
• Had to overcome the fear of anyone else reading my writing
• had my first article published in a local mag
• Started blogging publicly (felt the fear the first time I had to hit the "publish" button)
• Saw more live music - inc the joy of Jónsi, and regular Taikoz/Synergy evenings
• Saw live theater that was NOT contemporary dance (broadened my cultural scope and was richer for it)
• more than the usual amount of physical set-backs got in the way of dance class; too much time spent with physios
• Took-up running (!)
• Started working from home
• Wrote my first script
• Learned how to read and watch the news without wanting to cry
• Did not step inside an aeroplane
• Visited Bellingen for the first time
• Survived winter without turning on a heater
• Reduced my carbon footprint more
• Consumed less
• Worried about the environment more
• Read more
• Reunions in abundance - got together with friends from school i've not seen in decades - not seen since school in fact
• Farewelled an old friend
• On the last day of the year caught a wave and frolicked on a brand new tiny little beach