Is it possible for a person and a location to be combinatorially voodooed?
It's not me - I have plenty of good experiences with every other swimming pool. And there's nothing wrong with that particular pool. It's popular and successful. Yet I invariably have a negative experience there and leave feeling the opposite to how I should after a swim. Then I avoid it for months.
There was the time my boyfriend was in a foul mood for some reason so he decided to forget to pick me up afterwards. I queued for a pay phone to call and find out he was at home drinking coffee. So I had to walk home. Several times it's just been so damned unbearably cold in there I've had to get out before my full quota of laps. So I've felt irretrievably frozen to the bone and ripped off in both the financial and exercise quotient departments. I've been "bitten" by "sea lice". Completely turned away at the gate because squads and clubs had taken over. And there was the time I was told 3 lanes were free but the squads and clubs decided to make up their own rules and just take up as many lanes as they could. The pool staff abdicated all responsibility so we regular customers all had to squish into one lane - no matter what our speed or stroke style. One day the surf was so big it crashed into the pool and kept sweeping me sideways into the ropes (which are very spindly and give you rope burn, by the way). The foamy churn destroyed all visibility so I had more than one painful head-on collision and the other swimmer didn't even stop to see if I was ok. Just trying to breath without taking in a mouthful of wave was a challenge.
There's always something. Random, mostly unconnected things, but they all happen here.
I do believe however, that I lifted the curse today. It was so cold my toes turned yellow and my fingernails blue, but not so cold I couldn't stay in for the full 2K. The riffly wind whipped up ruffles of sea spray that made breathing air only, without splashes of sea water, mostly impossible. But the visibility was perfect. Swimmers stuck to their lanes and we all swam in the same direction without collision. There were no sea lice or cranky boyfriends or territorial squads.
The accursed public notice in the change room (or changeroom) taunted me as it always does with its crimes against the English language. I'm not a vandal, and it's out of character, but I climbed up on the bench and found that the sticky vinyl lettering is easily lifted by a thumbnail. So I peeled off the 3 offensive apostrophes, feeling a warm satisfaction at the words now restored to their correct plural form. The multiple other punctuation and spelling errors will have to stay. But the apostrophes are a small personal victory.
I'm currently reading and loving The Corrections. Today I made a few corrections of my own. And I left the pool feeling as uplifted as I normally should.
Friday, March 21, 2008
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3 comments:
take a black texta next time - you'll be able to correct the other mistakes as well!
sure, you'll be commiting an act of vandalism, but history will judge you to be a hero of the people....
:]
History will more likely judge me a pedantic loon.
In my original transcript, there was in fact a reference to permanent markers (and graffiti and tagging). But i took it out. It seemed somehow implicit. And i was right :-)
Yes. THIS will make history judge you as a "pedantic loon". This and nothing else... :P
I'm glad you're writing again. I do so enjoy it :) I also enjoy the illusion that I'm the only one who reads this stuff! (For I'm sure that's not true)
I do however, feel like a king at times. A king demanding that the court writer write him something for his amusement!
It's a good thing I am benevolent, and not the sort of king who gets stroppy whenever you get writer's block though... :D
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